Memoirs of a Serial Dieter

The Worst 15 Minutes of My Life

2006-12-20T08:42:00.000-08:00

Today I was up with the birds and got Stephen to drop Jack and I of about a mile outside Bromley as it was on his way to work and I walked in and got there as people were dashing for trains and the shops were just opening. My plan was to buy Jessica a christmas present (hadn't actually planned on buying her one until Jackie got one for Jack!!) and some crackers and then meet up with Susannah for quick coffee before heading of home.

Met up with Susannah, had a coffee and we were on our way back out of the Glades shopping centre, Olivia and Jack hand in hand like a couple of love birds and we got to Tie Rack and Olivia turned around and reached into her buggy for "me julie" (my gilet!!) and I just quickly glanced at her and laughed at her pronounciation turned back round and Jack was gone, and I mean GONE!! One second he was there right at the wheels of my buggy and the next second he had evaporated into thin air. It was very very busy and I was charging around the shoppers trying to spot a 3 foot tearaway in a light blue puffa coat but he literally was no where to be seen. And so began the panic, my son had literally vanished of the face of the earth I left Susannah with the buggies and was screaming Jack's name around the shopping centre, darting in and out of shops, other women were shouting his name too, asking for a description, others were cussing me for tripping over their buggies but I didn't have the time or inclination to get into a battle of words with anyone. Then this woman came to me and said "Look you have to go to the information desk now and get security on to it, these women will continue to look for him". So of we ran down to security, I'm by this point an absolute wreck, and so this woman (whose name turned out to be Tracey) told the security bloke that a 2 year old boy was missing, his name was Jack and he was wearing a blue puffa coat. I managed to find my voice and the bloke was on the walky talkie, the cameras were all ordered to look out for a 2 year old caucasion with very blond hair, blue puffa coat, osh kosh jeans, brown clarks boots and answers to the name of Jack. It just seemed like nothing was happening for ages, I was in a real blind panic, all sorts of things were going through my head, I kept wailing that it was too quick for him to disappear on his own, someone had taken him. I really did believe someone had just picked him up and gone of with him, Jamie Bulger came to my mind. I kept thinking that I would not be having christmas with my baby, I'd never see him again, your mind does weird things when this sort of thing happens, you just don't think straight and weird thoughts come into your mind, at one point I was thinking about what I would do with his christmas presents. Just wild random thoughts, but the main one being that my baby boy was going to either never be seen again or would be found dead somewhere. And then I hyperventillated and fell to my knees and I ended up with a first aid person from the desk looking at me and telling me to breath through my nose and out my mouth etc and just as they were helping me up the news came over the radio that Jack had been found!! Within a few seconds I could see him being carried by another young guard and obviously the big security boss with them. When they got to us I kid you not we all had a group hug, me Tracey, the security guys, the relief was like electricity in the air. He had been found by a young woman who had heard the description of Jack being given by the woman called Tracey and she was on her way out of the shopping centre and as she passed the Thomas the Tank Engine ride she spotted him, picked him up and gave him immediately to a security guard. She came down with them, she was worried that she might be accused of taking him but obviously no one thought that for a second. So my son had literally just gone to the other side of Tie Rack where there is an exit to the civic centre and a main road and spent an entire 15 minutes in a bloody Thomas the Tank Engine ride, had I just looked to my left when I was looking for him I would like to think I would have seen him straightaway and there would have been no need for utter panic. Jack of course was totally obvlivious to the utter nightmare that had gone on over him.

This happened with Phil when he was the same age, my mum was holding his hand in the Glades, she went to look at something in a shop but didn't take him with her assuming he would come and hold onto the buggy with his brother, but it took 5 minutes for security staff to find him and he was in Bows and Bangles trying to put things in his hair.

When I rang Stephen and told him he went mental, he's not happy with me and says he'll "discuss" it with me when he gets home. Said he's not blaming me but there are things about the way I am which mean I'm not careful enough with "his" son.
I'm still shaking now 5 hours later, of course Jack has had whatever his heart desires since he got home.

On a lighter note I bumped into a very pregnant Sally with Oscar and Sally's sister and missus. She looks fab!

It's 4.30, wondering if it's too early to partake in a little alcohol, I really need it, my arms are hurting from all the shaking, as well as the fact I'm not particularly well, my head throbs and my chest actually hurts from my heart hammering away earlier and my hyperventilating. I know these things happen, but sometimes I just wonder why it always seems to be Jack who gets into one mishap or another!! Just looking at the photos below of him in his dressing gown and it makes me cry, I couldn't imagine this world without him, let alone my own world. He's my little star and today made me realise that I couldn't give a shit about potty training, his sleeping in my bed, his not eating his fruit and veg and his not being very good at talking, I'm just glad he is here with me, at home today, and for a very long time to come yet!

I have moved to Vox now for my blog http://serialdieter.vox.com/ as it's much safer as you can choose who reads your posts you do have to join to read mine I'm afraid!

Please Don't Hate Me But.....

2006-11-04T08:03:00.000-08:00

......we paid a visit to the barbers today

Jack was as good as gold until we got the fine tuning towards the end. He sobbed his heart out when he saw the finished results. I didn't realise he was so attached to his hair bless him. Or maybe he's worriee Olivia won't love him anymore with out his flowing locks! Still I love it and it will grow back thicker and curlier so I either let it look odd for a while until it does grow back or I keep taking him to the barbers regularly for a cut.

Well Done My Son!!

2006-10-22T09:17:00.000-07:00

This saturday I received a letter from the school saying that Daniel has been nominated for the school gifted and talented programme and would I give my permission for him to take part. Whilst I have had misgivings about the fact that Phil who is on a level playing field with Daniel academically has not been nominated (but who knows a letter could turn up for him tomorrow) of course I'm giving my consent - what mother wouldn't. I have two extremely bright boys whom I find it very difficult to occupy these days, their brains are in need of constant stimulation and I think this is why they fight so much, and why they have always fought. Well done Daniel for proving the poxy educational psychologists wrong and doing so well in mainstream school. He's in his element in secondary school, it's like I'm seeing a totally different boy, he's confident, enthusiastic and literally buzzing from it all and is rarely home before 4.30 because he does after school activities most days. Every wednesday from now on he will participate in "stimulating" activities after school starting with "cube plaiting" on 1 November - what the fu.......???!!!

It's Hard Work Being Cute.....

2006-10-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

If you happen to be....

2006-10-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

.....in the vicinity of a book shop at some point then why not check out THIS! It's called Knitted Toys and it's by Zoe Mellor and it's got fabulous patterns for 25 knitted toys and yes, you've guessed it, Jack is in there!! He's modelling 3 of the toys, the squeaky pig, the ball and the hanging fish. His name is in the back spelt incorrectly which peeved of Stephen but who's gonna read it except the parents of the models! Can't believe he was a weenie 18 months when he did the shoot, 9 months ago, he's grown up so much since. Proud mummy alert I know, but the first time you see your child in print is always the most exciting. With Daniel after about the 2nd or 3rd the novelty pretty much wore of!

Can't scan the pics onto here I'm afraid in case someone starts a knocking on my door!!

Quick Catch Up

2006-10-13T02:47:00.000-07:00

Been a month since I last posted - how bad is that?!!

It's been busy busy busy, we've had Jack cracking his head and rushing into hospital with mild concussion, Daniel loving rugby despite his muscle condition meaning he shouldn't really play it but he tries out for the rugby team on Monday's after school and I'm sure his turn will come soon. Daniel has also shot up quite alarmingly so recently, towering over his brother and now over 5 foot tall, his posture is trying to get to grips with his height so he looks a bit stooped at the moment but I'm sure he'll get there. Thankfully I'm tall so I don't feel too threatened just yet! His teacher is arranging for him to be re-assessed in terms of his autism, he doesn't see it but he probably has yet to see elements of Daniel's behaviour which give cause for concern. I'm certainly finding as he gets older his temper is getting worse and he's completely unreasonable. Maybe that's just an age thing, they will be teenagers in a year but I'm sure it's not normal for a child to scream like he's being slaughtered as Daniel does.

The move is on hold, Stephen may end up with a promotion in his job as his current boss doesn't know his arse from his elbow and that would mean more money and management skills which would enable him to set his sights a bit higher when we do come to move and he needs to look for a job. I've decided I'm probably going to resign from the Civil Service, there are no jobs available and they don't seem to keen too help me find one. I've applied for a job just 50 yards up the road from my front door as an administrator for a food brokers and I had an informal chat yesterday and have been invited back for a a formal interview next week Haven't even seen my CV yet, the minute I said I was a civil servant and managerial grade they wanted to see me! Competition is tough but at least it's practice after two and a half years in nappy wilderness!! Salary quite a bit less that what I was earning as a civil servant, they're prepared to offer me approx 20k or slightly more if I do get the job, so it's about 25-30% less but it's a small price to pay for a job within spitting distance of my front door. They seem keen on the fact that my ex husband works as the company secretary for one of their rival companies, almost as if they think they've nicked someone from over the enemy lines so to speak. But whilst I'm fairly confident, I'm not that optimistic, 2 1/2 years is a long time to have not been working. It's a full time job as well which is quite daunting but financially it's not always viable to go back part time when you have to pay extortionate childcare costs, which round here are approx 30-35 quid a day.

Jack finishes pre school two weeks after half term, I'm not happy with the nappy changing issue, Jack is fine at home but needs a pull up for when he's out and about and they won't change nappies and I'm constantly walking up there to do his bum. Silly that they take them from 2 years of age but won't change their bums. So he's going to start a proper nursery after christmas, 2 afternoons a week where accidents will be dealt with if they happen. Hopefully I shall have hte potty training issue sussed by then.

Er, what else. Been out getting legless a fair bit, crawling through the front door at around 3.30 in the morning. My days of getting away with that the next day are long since gone so I'm trying to curb my social life for the next few weeks.

OOOOOHH!! And I finally met my 4 month old nephew Liam yesterday. My sister in law brought him to my mother and toddler group and he's so like Jack in build and temperament. Wriggly yet permanently happy, never cries and doesn't like drinking his milk very much either, which I've had with two of my sons. Stephen and his brother are not yet speaking, it's been 10 months, but I think it's close to happening. I was a bit heartbroken to find out my father in law visits Liam at least once a week yet he's still not speaking to us and hasn't clapped eyes on Jack. I don't think my sister in law should have told me he dotes on Liam because it does anger me, to think that a grandfather can choose to spend a lot of time with one grandchild and not spend any with another and want nothing to do with him. It's heartbreaking, he has to go past our house to get to my brother in law's flat (my old flat) so I just can't understand how it doesn't even cross his mind that he could quite easily see the other one too if he really wanted to. I'm tempted to send him a photo in the post, I'm not sure if he would rip it up though, but I can't see what harm it would do. Any advice on this issue would be greatly appreciated.

Jack's been to a few parties recently, he went to a little girl called Elli's last week at Adventure Kingdom and she absolutely dotes on Jack, follows him around, hanging on his every word, she's just besotted with him - but Jack - well, he doesn't even know she exists, he has eyes for one woman only these days and that's Olivia and I do feel for Elli, but at least at her birthday party he wasn't perturbed by her joining him in the Thomas the Tank Engine ride.

That's all folks!

Could I One Day Owe My Life to a Pig?

2006-09-13T07:19:00.000-07:00

And by pig I don't mean a policeman! I mean the pink, curly tailed, snouty, oink oink kind that roll in mud and smell not too great!

The TV medical drama Holby City, has, I think, over the last year at least been having quite a lot of storylines surrounding the issue of kidney failure, dialysis and transplants. Casualty has done it's fair share too. It is a big issue in this day and age with the change in donor laws this month, more awareness of transplants and being a donor on the donor register (everyone must get on it PLEASE). But just lately, it seems, that everywhere I turn I am confronted with a reminder of my own fate in terms of my own illness. Not least last night on Holby City when the storyline focussed on the illegal trans generic transplantation of a pig kidney into that of a man (ironically a jewish man!!).

For those of you that don't know, I suffer with chronic kidney failure, also called chronic renal failure. Following an almost deadly encounter with meningicocol septicaemia when I was nearly 4 I developed an immunological disease called Focal and Segmental Glomereloschlerosis (FSGS). This means that my immune system takes offence at something in my body for no apparant reason and systematically attacks it 24/7 - in my case objects of my immune system's loathing are my kidneys. The last 30 years have been for the most part fairly normal, save for regular check ups, 24 hour stays in hospital every 3 months as a child for monitoring and tests. I had the slow progressive form of the disease, which, in some cases can disappear altogether, but, it certainly explains why I've been able to have children, as many women with kidney disease are unable to conceive let alone carry a baby successfully. Unfortunately my kidney disease has progressed to the point where my pregnancy with Jack was severely affected, he was born at 32 weeks weighing 10 grams short of 3lb having suffered from a condition called IUGR (Inter uterine growth retardation) a direct result of my kidney failure and the pre eclampsia, and in the minutes leading up to his birth I was so ill it was thought I was going to suffer a heart attack because of the fluid build up in my body and my extreme potassium levels. I was told 3 months after he was born that my kidney function was down to just under 20% and that a transplant would be needed in the next 1-2 years. My kidney disease has caused something called IGA Nepropathy, this is scarring of the kidneys which causes them to shrink. The average kidney is roughly 12 cm in size, mine are around 9cm. This may not sound that small, but when you think that quite a lot of what is left is dead scar tissue rather than active kidney it's quite scary. Had I been diagnosed with FSGS now, in it's early stages then it can be treated with immunosuppresants but that sort of treatment was in it's infancy 25 years ago and now I'm too far gone for it to be of benefit.

As it stands today I'm fairly well, all things considered. My kidney function has doubled, by some miracle it has to be said, but I'm still chronically ill and the prognosis is still the same, the time frame has just changed a little. Kidney failure, is, to all intensive purposes a terminal illness, there is no cure. There are treatments, dialysis and a transplant being the two that everyone knows about. A transplant is NOT a cure, it is a more effective way than dialysis of treating kidney disease. A transplant is followed by a life long regime of immunosuppresants which themselves have side effects, not least, making the patient more prone to the ravages of some cancers, especially skin cancer and cancer of the blood. It is hoped that I will receive a transplant from a live donor i.e. a member of my family, my mum and my sister have been identified as potential good donors, however, the longer I keep going on the kidneys I was born with the less likely my mum is to be a donor as she is obviously getting older, and whilst she is only 53 next month, who knows how long it will be before I need a transplant. Potentially if I go another 4 or 5 years my eldest sons could be considered as donors - we are the same blood group for start! Transplants also don't last forever, though some do, especially those from a living donor, but the average life span is about 10 years. A scary statistic for me is that if I had to start dialysis tomorrow and never received a transplant, I could expect to live approx another 14 years - that would make me 47 - hardly a long life is it?!!

Like I said at the moment I am, by my standards, fairly well. I've never fired on all cylinders really so my standards of healthy probably fall well short of a normal healthy person. I suffer from tiredness like you would not believe, I fall into the trap of having a few days when I feel completely well and over doing it and then BAM I'm both mentally and physically drained for up to a week. It is my ferritin levels that are low, that is the iron, not the stuff everyone thinks of as haemoglobin, which, in my case is pretty much about normal. Iron infusions direct into my blood stream fail to solve the problem and the doctors have given up for a while. But an average ferritin level is around 250, mine hovers between 35-60. The kidneys are responsible for quite a bit that goes on in your body, they control the blood pressure, the toxins in your blood, your calcium levels, your iron levels, your potassium levels which are responsible for regularing your heart muscles, too much is a very very bad thing! I am on a blood pressure tablet, high blood pressure causes kidney disease, kidney disease causes high blood pressure, it's a vicious circle! I don't take anything else, my bloods are, except for the toxins which are creatinine and urea (both double the higher end of the normal range) pretty normal with no suggestion that anything is wrong with me, just the high level of toxins and the low levels of ferritin. Another baby would render me on dialysis, and the chances of it being successful are, according to the powers that be, quite low, especially considering my being prone to twin pregnancies. In December of last year Stephen and I discovered the consequences of my being pregnant on the tablets I am on which, should, in any event be stopped at least 3 months before conception if pregnancy is planned. They are toxic to an embryo and even if I had gone on to have a baby there was a good possibility that it would have suffered some sort of permanent damage from my tablets, most probably a heart defect or brain damage. So it's just not worth the risk. People do assume that because I have 3 kids already that makes it alright not to have anymore. But, although I don't want another child (15 shirts to wash and iron each week is ENOUGH thank you!!) the thought that that particular part of me is gone is quite a hurdle to overcome, it's like having part of what makes you a woman, your femininity so to speak, ripped from you without your consent.

Do I worry about what lies ahead? Yes, god yes I do. when they told me I would need a transplant in 1-2 years my world caved in and I cried like I have never cried before, and in fact Stephen cried more than I did. The boys, it has to be said, took it bloody well and immediately said that if I wanted a kidney I could have theirs (I may just hold them to that one day!!). When I got my Civil Service pension statement through a few months ago I wondered if I would actually be alive in 2033 to reap the benefits when I'm 60. The thought of dying doesn't really scare me, but the repercussions of my dying do. What if I went in the next few years - the brothers would be split up - the twins going with their dad and Jack staying with Stephen. What about Stephen, I think he dreads me dying more than he should do, he doesn't talk about it, but I know the whole thing scares him shitless. We don't really talk about it, my mum and dad never really did either, they brought me up as they would any other child and my kidney disease was just something I lived with, and not in spite of. I owe a lot to them for never dwelling on it, not wrapping me in cotton wool, I think that their laid back approach has been beneficial to my health because I've developed the same approach, with some areas of caution regarding my diet and the activities I do, but a positive attitude does do a lot of good. Sometimes I do use my disease as an excuse for things - like using the disabled loo if the women's loos are full, if anyone asks I just say I have kidney failure - which is a recognised disability anyway - and no one bats an eyelid after that. I do get cross about things like being treated like a skivvy for the boys and stephen and do have a go at my very lazy husband that considering his knowledge of my health he seems to do nothing to help make life easier for me round the house. Common conversation with my nearest and dearest "I'm so tired I can't lift my head I think you'll have to help me to bed". The old man responds "What you tired for - I've been out at work all day?!!" Nuff said!!

This post hasn't quite gone the way I wanted it to, I just wanted to voice out loud my opinion on pig transplants but have ended up rambling on about kidney disease and what it is and how it affects me. But I think perhaps, that is a good thing, I get so many silly comments made everytime I have a glass of wine in front of people "should you be drinking that?" "won't that stuff kill you?". Lets get this perfectly straight ALCOHOL DOES NOT CAUSE KIDNEY FAILURE, unless of course it's abused and the liver packs up in which case the kidney bares the brunt of pure alcohol pouring through it with it's not supposed to do. My liver function tests (LFTS ) are pukka, I have a perfectly healthy liver and I will continue with my perfectly healthy consumption of wine!

The subject of pigs as potential kidney donors has been mentioned several times to me by my nephrologist. Perhaps he thinks I will go on long enough to be considered as a potential donor without having the need to put a family member under the knife. At the moment the very idea makes me feel ill. I know that heart valve replacements are made from pigs, but it's just the pig tissue, it isn't a functioning organ. At the moment it is a long way of, scientists are battling with the problem of CJD and other animal diseases which a recipient would be prone to if they were to take on the organ of a pig. Work has been done in Canada and the states on a synthetic kidney, this would be inserted like a normal kidney and replaced quite easily should it go wrong, but, again it's a long way of being used as the norm, results are mixed and it's been tested on those who have had acute kidney failure (when the kidney fails for a short period of time as a result of another illness, accident etc). Maybe, when the time comes for me, and I'm desperate for my life back I would consider it, but the thought of being asked if I knew anything about my donor and having to say "yeah, it was a pig" just doesn't sit well with me at the moment.

New Beginnings

2006-09-06T02:17:00.000-07:00

I'm Loving - My handsome boys

I'm Hating - The state of my house - it looks like I've been burgled!!

I'm Looking forward to - The old man going away this weekend for 5 whole nights!!!!

Well today Daniel and Philip started secondary school. They took it in their stride, weren't in the least bit worried about it, apart from learning how to do a tie. They didn't go to school with one on, they get that today when they are sorted into their houses, fingers crossed the boys are the same house because otherwise sports day is going to be a bit different!!! It's cost me a fortune this secondary school lark, just for two blazers and two rugby shirts it's cost £130!!! The rest all adds up to a about £400, with £200 alone being spent on school shoes, footie boots and white trainers. What with France costing me £600 earlier in the year it's been a bloody expensive 6 months!!

Here they are in their uniforms, they look so handsome, I feel so incredibly lucky to have 3 heartbreakers (though in years to come it'll probably cause me nothing but grief!!).

Jack wanted in on the act too, after all it was his first day back at pre school today.

I left them at the school gates - it was uncool to go ANY further!! They went on quite happily, they were met by a chaperone and went of in a group of about 6 boys. They are luckier than most, because on days like this they have each other for support. Tomorrow they'll barely acknowledge each other in the corridor, but, for today at least, they will get on. And pssst don't tell anyone because Daniel gets VERY upset about this issue - Phil now has bigger feet than Daniel!!! The woman in the shoe shop joked that this meant Phil would be the taller of the two and Daniel, being Daniel, has taken this quite seriously and keeps puffing his chest out and standing up very straight when he's stood next to Phil. I'ts only half a size (they are a 6 1/2 and a 6 G) but to Phil this is a monumental accolade. The other good news is that there is a possibility that Daniel may not need his special needs help at school. Some of you may not be aware but Daniel has a condition called Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and although very mild on the spectrum scale (he leans towards autistic tendences rather than the autism itself)still needed help at school with social skills and his gross and fine motor skills (there is much more to autism than you think). He also has hypertonic muscle syndrome which means he's Mr Bendy but that has improved somewhat over the last year and it's believed this indicates that Daniel is about to hit puberty. The SENCO who used to work with Daniel thinks that he should be re assessed because she thinks he will be fine and we just have to accept that Daniel will always talk very loudly, scream like he's being slaughtered on occasion and be very particular about certain things and how they are done. So fingers crossed!!

Other news. Had to do an emergency dentist run on Monday and had a nerve removed from a healthy tooth, I've never known pain like it, I was in tears in the dentist and when I went there in the morning and he said he couldn't do the work until late afternoon I nearly fainted with the horror of having to go through another 6 hours of pain, but I went to Bromley to get last minute bits and pieces for the boys and a new suit for Stephen for his conference and saw my brother in law and sister in law, didn't say anything to them, but they had little Liam with them and I realised then that life was too short, and things had gone on for long enough and told myself I was going to get in touch with Caryn. As it happened, on my way to the dentist that afternoon she was getting a prescription from the chemist (she's a bona fide hypochondriac is Caryn and is ALWAYS ill despite being only 22). She usually just ignores me, even if we're in the same room, but she came and spoke to me and we got on really well and arranged for me to go and see Liam the next day. Agreeing that despite the brothers falling out we wouldn't let it affect the kids. Yet hours later, she cancelled. I'm not sure if the reason she gave was a real one or just because my brother in law has stamped his foot, but I was gutted, and now I have decided that I've made the effort now, the ball is in their court. As for my tooth, it's bliss, I have a dressing on it at the mo, and then at the beginning of October I will go back to have the nerve channel filled.

Effed of with my GP who when picking up a repeat prescription this morning has left a blood test form for me to go and get the usual run of the mill tests done to check my kidney function. This may not sound like a unwarranted request to many but to me it's him being his usual nosey self so he can call me in and "discuss" my "disease"!! All my bloods are done up at Kings College Hospital, the consultants prefer it that way because their equipment is so much more sophisticated than most hospitals, they were the ones who found out I was no longer rhesus negative but borderline because their equipment picked up traces in my blood that the other hospital hadn't. Not only that I only have one good vein left, 30 years of blood tests have taken their toll and my other veins have gone deep into hiding in my body. This vein endures blood test after blood test, iron injections etc and will be needed when it comes to me going on dialysis so I'm keen to preserve it. Told the doctor I'll get my bloods done at my next Kings appointment, which is next week (which I'm postponing because I have no one to look after Jack). It's nice having bloods done in the renal clinic because you get them done there and then, no ticket and waiting in pathology, you have your appointment with the doc then you go straight through for bloods, simple as that!

Mother and toddler group is back tomorrow, and I'm a one man band now, Jackie has a job and whilst she doesn't work thursdays is going to use that day to go to college because she's gone back to dental nursing but isn't qualified and you have to be. She hasn't got college sorted yet and I do feel a bit pissed of about being dropped in it like this, especially as I will have to cope on my own with the financial shortfall in the rent, but hopefully I can find someone else to take over Jackie's reins because I will only be running it til just after christmas and it would be a shame to close it down as this one is proving so much more popular than the last one.

Right, in the time it's taken me to write this since dropping Jack of I've already been up there and done his bum and come back again so now it's time to go back AGAIN and pick him up!!

Is It Me Or Are Drivers Getting Younger These Days?!!

2006-09-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

That is of course my youngest (and loudest!!) son behind the wheel of our temporary company car. Stephen got a Vectra, had a mad bit of worrying he was going to get a Zafira, Stephen and people carriers do NOT get on, we had the Honda one once at my insistence (despite having 3 kids we didn't need one as we only have one car seat!!) and I swear he used to almost cry every time he drove it, so we sold it and I've never seen anyone so happy in all my life especially as the buyer paid about 10k in cash. Anyway, we have a 2 year old Vectra, came to the end of it's 2 year lease yesterday and Stephen has it for 8 weeks until the car he orders turns up. So have to go to the dealer tomorrow to have a look see and then he'll put an order in on Monday. I quite like the idea of looking for a brand spanking new car we don't have to pay for! We will sell the Ibiza as it's worth the most and we may sell the Beamer, but because of the vandalism it's gonna need repairing, by Stephen himself or professionally which could be expensive (because it's a Beamer!!!).

Here's the new car. Not very impressive, but the blond behind the wheel is a real stunner!!

Thank you for all your lovely comments about Jack's hair (though above he's a sweaty head having been asleep on the leather settee when his dad got home!). Stephen went ballistic, personally I think he likes the attention Jack gets when we're out and about, though he hates the other dads calling him Curly Temple! So he wasn't happy about the new cut, but it's flicked back out at the sides again so it's just a shorter version of what he had before (PHEW!!).

Had a weird feeling earlier, was thinking about the boys going to school next week and whether I had everything and just the thought of them going to secondary school set me of having a panic attack. It wasn't a bad one, just really bad palpitations, but I'm actually very very nervous about them going. I don't worry about them coping, they are very very bright and will do really well and adapt quite easily, but I just worry about whether they have got everything they need, the right sort of stuff, god forbid it should be obvious to the rest of the kids I bought their shirts in Primarni (primark!!). As well as this it's like I've been made redundant, it's difficult to explain, but soon it will be christmas and then the boys will be 12 just after and I feel like that's it, I'm no longer their mummy I'm their mother, the one who if they happen to be seen with me will cause them no end of embarrassment and no doubt teasing. I never went to secondary school, I was a boarder at a prep school til I was 13 then graduated to the college thereafter and public/private schools are very different, especially when you are a boarder, you don't get letters to take home, you have to go to school on Saturdays!! So secondary school is as much a milestone for me as it is my children. I don't think I'm explaining myself very well, but I guess the closest way to describe what I'm feeling is "bereft". All of you with lickle ones and no big ones, please please please enjoy every flippin second because before you know it you are arguing in shops over designer trainers and in a constant battle of wills! In 4 months from now I will be saying "next year I'll have two teenagers in the house"!!

Hair Today - Gone Tomorrow (cheesey title I know!!)

2006-08-30T08:25:00.000-07:00

I'm Loving - Salakis low fat Feta Cheese - I'm addicted to the stuff and eat it nearly every day

I'm Hating - my new buggy which I bought of Ebay, it gives me serious backache! Give me a maclaren any day!!

I'm looking forward to - Stephen going to Brighton to the TUC conference on saturday 9 September til Thursday 14th September and having the bed to myself (and Jack!).

Well, I've gone and done it, I've given Jack a hair cut. This morning when I was trying to brush it the ends of a couple of his curls were all matted, like a long haired cats fur goes, and so I bathed him, washed stig of the dump hair twice and then applied conditioner but I still couldn't brush it without him reaching for the phone about to dial Childline, so........out came the scissors and I cut about 2 inches of the back and shaped it round the sides.

Here he is this sunday at a pub in Downe

He he is this morning after his scissor possessed mother butchered him

His hair is still masses of curls at the back, which I have to admit to straigtening with a bit of serum before we went out this morning because it just looked silly. His dad is going to go mad and I don't blame him, whilst he was always being mistaken for a girl (despite his very male swagger - he's a right geezer!!) he did suit the longer hair. Tempted now to just nip him up to the hairdressers and get it all chopped of into a french crop (short at back and sides and spiky on top). His face looks chubbier now, he's lost some of his etherealness I think. Still a gorgoeus boy by any standards and he really couldn't go round with stig of the dump hair.

Really missing the big boys, though why anyone would miss two 11 year olds constantly fighting with each other is beyond me! People often ask me if they are close, because, well twins are always close aren't the? WRONG!! My two have been fighting since before they were born, I was on sleeping tablets when pregnant because the activity in my stomach at night was unbelievable and I had the stretch marks to prove it and on scans you could see legs darting out and kicking the other one in the head. Can't believe they start secondary school a week today, they are in Menorca with their dad at the moment and I've had to get school trousers etc without them here so I hope they all fit! It's difficult because they are so lanky so need belts with everything and Phil has shorter legs than Daniel and yet neither of them can be bothered to check trouser size when they get dressed in the morning, Daniel age 12, Phil age 11, so I've gone for all the same size this time and if necessary I'll stick up Phil's trouser leg with some masking tape every morning! They'll also need haircuts when they get back next monday, they had one before they went to my sisters but 2 weeks holiday in the sun and it will no doubt have grown especially Phil who has thick wavy hair like mine.

Less then 4 months til christmas and then hopefully I'm outta here! Brother in law came down for the long weekend, saw him for 2 hours in a pub on sunday after a massive ruckus over me constantly pissing of when family came down. It's a long story but Ess saw my mother in law's pre emptive strike by text on Thursday when she came down and it just escalated from there. Jack doesn't have any idea who my mother in law is despite the fact she lives spitting distance away, she's not set foot in my house since Easter and I won't go into the whys or wherefores but it's getting on my tits now. Why is it the other grandchildren are afforded grandparents who take an avid interest yet Jack is persona non grata?!! I think a lot of it is like it was with Stephen, mother and father in law are dark with brown eyes (though mil dyes her hair blond) Stephen came along with his white blonde hair and blue eyes and is a bit of an oddity in the family. The other grandchildren all have brown eyes and Stephen's nephew does have blond hair but you know it's going to go darker and because Jack is so different he gets treated like a bloody leper! A comment from my mother in law when Liam was born in June "well at least two of my daughters in law can have proper babies and two out of three ain't bad is it Alison" My mum was there and said she doesn't know what she's saying until she suffers the aftermath! Do I really want my son, well all three of my sons really, growing up around that attitude. I have said I will send Liam christmas and birthday presents but our relationship with his parents is unsalvageable, but it's not Liam's fault, not like my father in law, who broke of all ties with Stephen and has said he NEVER wants to clap eyes on his "scroat of a grandson" ever! But it just makes me feel sad when I hear other two year olds calling their grandparents by their appointed affectionate names and Jack has no idea, he's kind of getting to grips with who my mum is but she's not been too great in the past either but she spoils her grand children rotten when she can and has been much better since she split up with my stepfather of 18 years two months ago (a long story I won't go into!!).

This was supposed to be about Jack's haircut and it's turned into a rambling bitter whinge! I tried to post about Ess' visit last week but Blogger was having none of it. Here are a couple of pics

Oscar getting to grips with his new cup whilst his mum gets to grips with Ess!

Everybody Smile!!

Come on you can do better than that!!

Joe isn't sure about the big green pregnant woman (Sally) making all those funny faces and asks big sister Jade to call for help!!

Feeding time at the zoo - er, sorry, a nice quiet supper at Chez Al's

Jack as usual stripped of his nappy as soon as we got home, thought he might wait til everyone had gone but he has no shame, he's almost potty trained now, we just have to work on him getting it IN the potty! He won't go on the toilet, absolutely terrified of it and the number 2s are taking a bit of work but Rome wasn't built in a day and he won't be going to school in nappies so who cares if we have another couple of months of this, I'm in no rush to be cleaning up his pee of the toilet rim where he's aimed half a sleep and missed, it's bad enough cleaning up after the other three men in this family!

he had a strop when Joe and Jade and Ess had gone (Jack could play forever with other kids)and threw a picture of his brothers on the floor and smashed it, does a glass picture frame give the same bad luck as breaking a mirror?

Stephen goes permanent in his job on Friday and gets a company car, he asked for the allowance rather than the car as we have a brand new ibiza but he may as well sell that and not have to worry about insurance etc. He's getting a Vauxhall, now what my husband has to say about Vauxhalls is not worth repeating and he's been told he's getting a Vauxhall Ashtray (Astra!) he used to own a Corsa and he loved that (he actually sold that to Jackie, Jessica's mum before I met him - and she sold it on to the school secretary - small world!). He's not sure what he's getting, but he would prefer the Vectra and he knows that they are also used as company cars so fingers crossed. His money goes down dramatically as he's been charging contractor rates up to now of at least £1000 a week so I have to frantically start selling on Ebay!!

That's all folks, I have backache from sitting at the pooter waiting for blogger to upload the pictures!

A good joke

2006-08-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have already seen this as I emailed it to people, but it was sent to me from someone who has just had a fistula put in - this is to allow him to have haemodialysis - yet he's still in good spirits. It had me howling with laughter - enjoy!

2 old ladies are outside their nursing home having a drink and a smoke. Its starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls a condom out of her handbag, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
Maude says "What the hell is that?"
Mabel replies "Its a condom, it stops my cigarette getting wet".
Maude asks "Where did you get it?"
Mabel: "Get them at any drugstore"
Next day Maude hobbles in to her local drugstore and asks the young male assistant for a packet of condoms. The assistant looks at her rather strangely(she is, after all, over 80years of age) and delicately asks what brand she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny" she replied, "As long as it fits a Camel"

A Great Weekend

2006-08-16T05:32:00.000-07:00

I'm Loving - Ebay!! Picking up some great autumn/winter clothes for Jack at bargain prices (Gap etc). He'd be walking the streets naked if it weren't for Ebay!!
I'm Hating - my boys are going on holiday with their dad to Menorca today until the 4 September!! It'll be quiet, but it will be weird
I'm Looking forward to - Seeing Ess and Joe and Jade soon (once we get a date sorted!!)

This weekend we all toodled of to Manchester to stay with my sister and her family. We stopped at mums on the Friday night, she lives in a little village (and when I say little I mean little, 2 pubs, a few houses and you drive through it in 5 seconds!) called Wing in Rutland. On the Saturday we trundled up the motorway to Manchester, getting there late morning. Jack was not happy about another trip in the car as you can see...

My sister, Heather has three kids, Jake 11, Joel 4 1/2 and Poppy who will be 3 on the 1st October. At first Poppy wasn't too sure about this invasion, last time she saw us was at Jack's 1st birthday party last year! After a while though, she and Jack were inseparable. Here are the three youngest, only an hour after arrival, sat watching C Beebies.

Poppy - the only girl out of the 8 children my brother and sister and I have produced (so far!!)

All 3 of my sister's children have inherited their colouring from our Irish bit, though Jake my sister's eldest has brown eyes which compliment his red hair beautifully, Joel got my dad's curly locks which my brother also has and his colouring is like mine, and Poppy is my sister's mini me, but has dark lashes so we think she will go back to her birth colouring hair wise, which was dark brown. whereas her mum, my sister, is still that blond! Jack is also the same colouring, with strawberry blond hair which will probably go back to it's reddish colour in the winter months. My sister's partner, Paul is of italian origin (the surname Bertelli gives that one away!!), dark curly hair etc, and his brother and two sisters are the same. Daniel and Phil are a bit of "odd ones out" with their dark skin! Phil is still a blondie, whilst his brother is dark, but you can't help but notice how much darker they are compared to the other cousins (my brother's two children have pale skin and red hair!) they have inherited the romany bit which not many of us have in our family, and it's considered good luck to have done so.

We went to a barbeque at my sister's in laws that evening, which is literally three doors down, with her sister in law two doors further down from that (very corrie!!). Everyone was there, typical northern gathering where everyone is family, no matter how vague the bloodline, or if there is one! Bit of a culture shock for Stephen, a southerner through and through and a family that keep themselves very much to themselves. Everyone commented on how alike Jack and Poppy are, you can definitely tell they are related!

The height difference between the two of them is narrowing now so that Jack is probably only 2 inches shorter at the most than Poppy now and she's exactly 9 months older, so theory is now that this time next year Jack will be taller than her and actually look like the product of parents with a combined height of over 12 foot!! He still gets called short arse by his uncle Paul though, so it will be vindication when he finally shoots up!! Joel, who starts school in a few weeks, I can't believe it, is 4 1/2 and for 3 years has eaten, well, not a lot. He eats only nuggets, chips, garlic bread and yoghurt, yet, he is testimony and proof to all of you parents who worry that their child won't grow properly because they are fussy eaters, that they do!! He is so tall he comes up past the shoulders of his 8 1/2 year old cousin Alex. I couldn't believe how much he had shot up and he's such a wonderful little boy to boot, not interested in cars etc, but animal mad, he already has horse riding lessons, has a farm set up on the dining table which CANNOT be touched and can play with it for hours. He doesn't want to be a vet though, he wants to be a zoo keeper bless him. Here is a shot of him, we used to call him Chuckie (as in the Rugrats) but it seems unfair now, he's just mega gorgeous and my sister can't go anywhere with him without being stopped (that's his big brother Jake in the background with the football)

IT was a late night, I didn't fill my wine glass up once, someone else was doing it so I was lulled into a drunken stupor unbeknown to me!!

Sunday we went out for a meal in a place called Mottram, a wacky warehouse place where everyone ate too much. Then unfortunately it was time to make our way back down south. Half way down I realised I'd left the Quinny buggy up at my sisters, my M&P is falling to bits so I was a bit peeved and had to order another one when I got home (not another quinny I'm not that rich!!).

We did have a look at houses while we were up there, and the one we had seen which we really liked which I mentioned on an earlier entry turned out to be on a the busy main road which goes through droylsden and ashton so that was crossed of the list - I am NOT living on a main road again NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!

Have been ultra miserable and moody since we got back, I hate living down here now, going to see family makes it even worse because it brings it home how far away I am from all of them. My sister's mother in law brought it home by observing that my sister and I, both our first and last children are the same age so if we're going to do it, why do it so far apart when the children can't reap the benefits of being so close in age, and she's right. Jack and Poppy will go to school together, same first day, possibly same class. My older two probably won't get into Jake's school as it's Roman Catholic, but they will sit GCSEs at the same time etc. Gonna have to whip Stephen's ass into gear and get this house sellable and sold!!

Just call me Fanny

2006-08-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

Nicked off Sally's blog!

Your Pirate Name Is...

Evil Fanny La Bouche

What's" Your Pirate Name?

Birthday Party with Mrs Wescott In Waiting

2006-08-08T23:52:00.000-07:00

I'm Loving - My little boy at the moment, he's being such a cutie
I'm Hating - The Great British Summer - what the hell is going on ?!!!
I'm Looking Forward To - Going to see my lickle sister and her family in Manchester this weekend.

Just a quick post to write about our day yesterday which was spent partying in Kelsey Park with Olivia celebrating her 2nd birthday. Thankfully, the downpours on Monday were a distant memory and the weather was glorious and the kids had a great time, running around playing football. Susannah's mum and brother were absolutely fab with the kids and spent most of the day running around after Jack and Olivia who were stuck to each other like glue for most of the party and even ended up with matching dirty faces!! There was Pimms and far too much chocolate cake for my weightwatching liking but I have to admit that this is the perfect way to celebrate a kids birthday if it falls in the summer and I've made a mental note to try the same myself next year. I know Sally is hopefully going to do Oscar's in Greenwich Park which I am REALLY looking forward to.

Was feeling quite unwell and ended up forgetting I had the camera until cake cutting time. Here is the birthday girl herself with mum and baby sis Lucia

Olivia has really got that hand on the hip, rolling eye pose down to a tee!!

Jack with his dirty face (he and Olivia found a mound of sandy dirty and couldn't resist!)

Do you think I should get his hair cut?

THE FOUR STAGES OF TODDLER MELTDOWN AS DEMONSTRATED BY ELIJAH AGE 2

1. Tell your mum you are not happy by swinging legs in kicking motion in her general direction and screaming

2. Refusing to listen to her reasoning with you by focussing on something boring instead and going all floppy in your mums arms!

3. Appealing to the better nature of another mummy, preferably one with a camera who can gain photographic evidence of your mistreatment

4. Show that all it took was a pink ball to keep you happy.

Jack and Jessica playing football. Jack had just kicked that ball by the way, he's a natural, and very fast on his feet too. He could be the next Wayne Rooney, and a much better looking version too!!!

Thanks Susannah for a fab afternoon!

Today we are of to see Fireman Sam at the Churchill Theatre in Bromley and there is a childrens tea party afterwards so should be fun and hopefully I will be allowed to take photos.

Party Party Party!!!

2006-08-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm Loving - Chocolate Birthday Cake
I'm Hating - Adam Baldwin in Corrie, that sneering acting is getting on my nerves and someone do something with his hair!! I hope Danny gets the whole bloody lot!
I'm Looking Forward To - Going to Manchester next week to see my lickle sister and her family.

Today Sally and I went to Jaya's second birthday party in Guildford. Stephen dropped me of at Sally's at 10ish and we left an hour later thinking it was only going to take us an hour, yeah, right!! 3 god damned bloody hours, the M25 was on top form today, totally and utterly bumper to bumper for most of the journey. The AA route I had printed of got us lost and we got Jemma's home number of Directory Enquiries and rang them after we had just circled Guildford for what seemed like ages, and typically, we were just around the corner!! The boys were absolutely angels in the back of the car though, they slept for a good part of the journey but their stomachs woke them up and yet they sat in the back as good as gold bless them.

The party was good fun. Anita, an old name from Babycentre was there with Tilda and new baby Sebastian. Bobbie was there also with Tim and Nicole and Sally and I had a good old chinwag for a lot of the time we were there with Bobbie who is just so lovely, I hate her because she's got this lovely little tidy 27 week bump, but she's really lovely and has a lovely little family with another one on the way, in fact, of all of us around the table I was the odd one out because I had a 2 year old as they all did, but wasn't pregnant or hadn't had another one recently!

Sally and I had a cuddle with Jove, I got him first and was reluctant to give him up but eventually let Sally have a go, only for him to be quickly whisked off again to show to someone else - he's a popular lad that Jove, and I'm not surprised, he's just so scrummy!

Jaya had a Thomas the Tank Engine railway set, now, Jack is Thomas obsessed, as is Jaya's friend Elliott and as is Jaya. Which meant that three otherwise laid back, gentile 2 year year olds were embroiled in the occasional spat over who had what train, who used the track etc. Jack and Jaya spent almost 5 minutes yelling "oi mine" back and forth at each other fighting over trains. Jack was pretty snatchy with Elliott a few times which was unusual for him, but I suppose Thomas brings out the worst in kids!

I took a few pics, I was so busy gassing I almost forgot I had my camera!

Sally & Jemma

Bobbie soaking up some sun

Jack hanging onto those trains!!

Then along came Elliott........

and then Jaya!

Cake cutting time and Jaya a little bit "underwhelmed"!

Peek a boo - I can see you......

......... and you too!!

Oscar patiently watching the cake's every move (he'd spent a good hour trying to re create it's look by trying to nick the smarties of the top after all!)

Not so patient now, when are they going to cut the damned thing?!

Ahhhhh, that's better!!

Nicole

Jack and Nicole on the Love Seat, ahem, I mean the see saw!!!

Bobbie and Sally baby talking

Oscar and Jaya having fun in the bouncy castle

It was a wonderful afternoon, only marred by the hectic journey getting there and the fact I came away with no Jove in my handbag! The journey back was much much quicker thank god and once again the boys were as good as gold.

Olivia's birthday party on Tuesday at Kelsey Park, looking forward to that.

I'll finish now by saying Happy Birthday to Nicole - 2 today!!

Loves Young Dream

2006-08-04T08:10:00.000-07:00

Just like old times Sally, Susannah and I met up today in the Bromley for a dose of group therapy i.e. gassing over umpteen cups of tea and coffee. Not so easy now the littluns are 2 but thankfully I had Daniel and Phil with me who were quite happy chasing them around.

I bumped into Susannah first outside the shopping centre and we did a brief detour into the Early Learning Centre to discuss what Olivia might want for her birthday. They have got the Thomas the Tank Engine train set set up in there on the table and both Olivia and Jack had great fun playing at that, though Jack was pushing Olivia away telling her to "go way". Yet when we got out of the shop, it was a different matter, they were holding hands and having a few smooches and I have the evidence to prove it!! (the second one is a bit out of focus unfortunately, it's difficult to get pictures of moving 2 year olds!!)

Both wondering what all the fuss is about!

Jack going in for a kiss but Olivia has already given him one and she's not up for anymore just yet!

Jack does like Olivia, alot, if you ask him if Olivia is his girlfriend he'll giggle really shyly, ask him if Jessica is his girlfriend and you get a very firm NO! I think it's because Olivia has never hit him, pushed him, screamed and given him headache etc, and so I guess Jack sees a kindred spirit in her. Jessica is a bit more unpredictable and she will hit him, and she screams, and he never quite knows what to make of her. Or maybe, it's just down to the plain and simple fact that "gentlemen do prefer blondes"!!! Pictures to show them when the are older. I think it's a shame we are moving now, it would have been nice to see if anything did come of Jack and Olivia, they make such a lovely couple don't you think?!!

Met up with Sally and Oscar who ended up being banished the the creche as he was running poor Sally (who is 16 weeks pregnant already OMG!!) ragged. I was tempted to put Jack in, he's no angel when we're out shopping either but having only had an operation earlier in the week I didn't want to leave him with lots of kids where he would get bumped etc.

We all hand lunch in Macdonalds, it's a massive exercise now, getting three buggies, including a double and 3 high chairs round a table and then getting everyone sat down, including two 11 year olds. Sally had to go shortly after we'd eaten and Susannah and I browsed the shops, I bought a couple of pressies for a couple of little girls who are about to turn 2 and then I made my way home. I was totally knackered, I felt like I had been up for about 3 days solid.

Early night tonight, we're of to Jemma's tomorrow for Jaya's 2nd birthday party. I'm going with Sally so got to get to hers for 10ish. It's that time of year again. Jack being an "intended" August baby has lots of friends with birthdays in August so it gets very busy. Unfortunatley we are missing Alfie's next week as we are of to Manchester to see my sister and have a look around the area we hope to move to early next year.

On another note, I have heard from work FINALLY. My career break has been extended to the end of the year whilst they try and find me employment, now obviously in Manchester. BUt they are being very unhelpful, I have got to do a new CV, go in for a career interview and basically find MYSELF a job. Words fail me at the crappiness of the Prison Service, I worked for the Lord Chancellor's department before now the Department for Constitutional Affairs and it was nowhere near as bad there, but it wasn't all that great either. The prison service took until Jack was 7 months old to send me my maternity pack, I should have got that when I told them I was pregnant!! There are no jobs at the moment, there is redundancy but I have to ask for it and that way they can get away with giving me a crap package, rather than it being compulsory and they give me a good one especially after 15 years employment. I'm a manager but looking at the skeleton of a CV they have sent me I'm quaking at the knees, it's a long time since I did one, 2 1/2 years since I worked and so if anyone out there knows there stuff about CVs, especially in they public service, please HELP!!!!!

Should I Be Worried..............................

2006-08-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

.....................about the way my youngest son chooses to wear his clothes?!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL WENT WELL!!!

2006-07-31T08:23:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for your good wishes for Jack, they mean an awful lot, especially from Kell for managing to get on the PC at all with 4 kids including a 2 week old!

Well the day started badly, Stephen hadn't set the alarm properly so we both woke up with a start at 7 am. Due in the hospital at 7.45 and we live a 20 minute drive away and would get caught in rush hour so I immediately got into a bad mood about all that.

We literally just lifted Jack out of bed just after 7.30 and put him straight in the car, he was such an angel, no whingeing, no whining for a drink (which he couldnt' have anyway) and we got to the hospital at around 7.50, despite there being roadworks and a lot of traffic, so the gods were already smiling on us.

We were booked in very quickly, we were first on the list and Jack was given some magic cream to put on his hands to numb them and then he just toodled of to the games room while I signed all the forms etc. There were 5 children in total today for grommets, two girls and 3 boys, Jack was the youngest then there were 2 4 year olds, a 5 year old and then an 11 year old whose mother was one of the worst clingy and obsessive mothers I have ever come across. Asked if her son's asthma made him wheezy all the time she replied "oh yes and he gets tight chested" but her son was adamant he didn't have such problems. She asked too many questions, mainly questioning the doctor's ability to do the procedure in the first place (he was having his adenoids out at the same time) and this held everything up for us. She insisted he have his inhaler before he went down, was not happy about her son having nurofen before the op because of his asthma despite assurances that it's only severe asthmatics who react to ibuprofen and her son was very mildy asthmatic, which started her of on one again, asking the doctor if he was just the registrar or a proper surgeon!! At last she shut up and we were ready to take Jack down. I took him down to theatre, carried him whilst Alfie his bear rode on the bed and I had to sit and hold him whilst they administered the anaesthetic. I tell you that boy didn't flinch once when they put the needle into the vein on his hand, he just asked them what it was and had a good look. Then the consultant anaethetist came in and told me to hold him tight whilst the anaesthetic was being administered because he would jerk then go all floppy. Well he jerked all right! So badly did his body try to fight being sent to sleep that the syringe came out and sent chalky white smelly anaesthetic all over everyone, all over my glasses (good job I was wearing them because otherwise I would have had trouble seeing for a while) and on my lips, good job my gob was shut for once!! Then he went very floppy, we put him on the bed and I kissed him goodbye.

I wandered back to the ward and waited with Stephen and was told he would be about half an hour but he was about 50 minutes in total, two other kids had gone down by the time he came back from recovery. He was just having a long snooze! Everything was fine, they had drained all the glue of from his ear and put the grommets in so he should hopefully already be hearing a bit better. The doctor came round and commented on Jack's snoring and slightly laboured breathing in his sleep and suggested that he have his adenoids and tonsils out sooner rather than later but there certainly wasn't any urgency. Jack literally was up on his feet as soon as the nurse who had carried him back from theatre handed him to me, he was very wobbly, and put a weeble to shame but he wasn't sitting down and resting for anyone. He was straight into the games room and switched the nintendo machine on. He had a drink of water and biscuits. The nurse brought him squash but I don't allow Jack to drink it so he had to drink plain old water whilst all the other kids were being brought in lucozade and sprite by their mums and dads and Jack just looked at them and then at us as if to say "why are you so bloody mean, I've just had an operation for heaven's sake?"" Jack ran us ragged for two hours and the nurses were absolutely bowled over by his good nature and powers of recovery. I explained that Jack could get run over by a bulldozer and would probably get back up and carry on with what he was doing. One of the nurses suggested that kids of parents who aren't well do grow up very independent (Jack!!) very even tempered (Jack 80% of the time) and very easy going (Jack to a tee!!) as if they know they have to give their parents an easy ride. I have heard that before but I wasn't aware that my health has had any impact on my ability to bring Jack up just yet, certainly I get tired easily but not much more than anyone else with a small child and two pre- pubescent boys!! But apparantly Jack just "knows".

When it was time to go we were gone in a flash, i don't like hospitals and don't hang around in them unless I have to. We treated Jack to a Macdonalds which we fetched on the way home. He hadn't eaten anything since last night except two rich tea bickies and he'd been such a good boy. Also broke my number one rule and let him have a diet coke!! He's now bouncing of the walls, whilst Stephen and I are exhausted and trying to keep up with him.

Got home, we had bought him a couple of new dvds beforehand for him to have when he got home and he's been happy as larry since.

No swimming for the next 12 weeks, have to put vaseline and cotton wool in his ears when he has a bath. He has a post op appointment in 12 weeks, however, he has an appointment at ENT anyway in 3 weeks about his tonsils so he'll get checked then to see if the grommets have settled. All being well they should stay in for at least 9 months. Daniel's stayed in for 3 years!

There is nothing worse than taking a small child into hospital for a procedure, now matter how small and whether it's under a local or general anaesthetic. But, despite my fears (you know will he be allergic to the anaesthetic etc) I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would and the nurses there, both called Karen, were absolutely fantastic. The two girls there both came back and screamed for at least an hour and they had the patience of saints with them. Apparantly boys tend to bounce back quicker anyway, but then all three boys who went down today had a longer time in recovery than the girls, so maybe a bit of extra sleep goes a long way!!

I'm wrung out, I'm dying to have a bath and go to bed but Jack looks like he's in for the long haul. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawnn

Thank you once again for all the messages and emails. Really means a lot to think there were people thinking of him. Sorry for the rambling post but I didn't sleep last night through worrying and I'm just letting my fingers do their own thing!

The Boys Done Good

2006-07-21T02:41:00.000-07:00

Daniel and Phil took their SATs in May and received the results this week and thankfully both achieved the same results - a 5 in all 3 subjects, Maths, Science and English!! The aim is to acheive a 4 and the tests are geared for them to hopefully achieve a 4 so to get a 5 means they far exceed what is expected of a typical 11 year old. I'm more relieved they got the same results than the fact they did so well, otherwise life in this house would have been unbearable!! Nobody is all that surprised, they were predicted 5s but they found those tests tough and it's testimony to their hard work that they have done so well. 11 years ago they were just my babies, hard work maybe, but my babies and I can't believe how the time has flown

Age 7 weeks with Phil on the left, Daniel on the right (no your eyes are not deceiving you Daniel REALLY is that much longer than his brother he was already in age 3-6 months!)

Age 3 months (Daniel getting longer still and with size 3 feet already!!)

It's quite gut wrenching to think that they have already been exposed to national tests twice and are in their last 3 days of junior school. Well done guys, your mum is extremely proud of you

I leave you with the photo that was taken yesterday at the start of their leavers party (they have a disco on Monday as well). It's a scan of a copy so the quality isn't all that great unfortunately. Daniel is standing on the far right of the second row and Phil is almost directly below him sat on the ground in the front row the second person in from the right. Daniel's class have won the honour of doing the last assembly on the last day of term on Tuesday morning and having read the script and seen that all old photos are going to be used, it promises to be a tearful event!

Little Toto R.I.P

2006-07-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know if any of you watched Big Cat Week on BBC1 last week but it was absolutely captivating, not least because of the plight of baby cheetah Toto and his mum. I was absolutely devastated when in the last episode it transpired that the tiny little guy hadn't survived and this may make me sound a little bit sad but it prayed on my mind for a little while, wondering what had happpened to him, did the baboons get him, did he drown in the river his mother may have tried to cross, or did he simply get lost from his mum and couldn't survive on his own. But bless you little Toto, you were a wonder to watch and were the highlight of my week!

Other news. Some arsewipe thought it would be a great idea to vandalise our car. Something was scratched into the side of it with a key and it covers the entire back panel and passenger door (excuse the state of our car it's been sat unused under a tree for a while as Stephen uses the Ibiza for work!)

Obviously spelling isn't the culprit's strongest point! But it was done on Thursday night, reported on the Friday and the police came round this afternoon (Tuesday). It's not the work of kids i.e. vandalism, as they tend to have signatures and avoid causing criminal damage that can't be easily cleaned of i.e. grafitti with spray paints. The police reckon this is personal as no other car was touched, and after a bit of asking about it looks like the man responsible is none other than the brother in law, who, we have a 7 month long standing feud with. Nothing we can do, unless we have a video of him doing it. Because the car is a beamer it's gonna cost a fortune to put right, and we don't think insurance will cover it, but we're going to try. But basically, if we don't pay for it to be done, the car is unsellable and with us moving we hadn't planned on taking two cars with us (not practical, two cars and only one person who drives, and the other car being brand new!). The brother in law has his car for sale up on Ebay at the moment and for a fleeting moment I was tempted to go round and key his car, but I think a revenge that is slightly more subtle and causes no financial damage is what is best. Utter idiot, I seem to come across more and more idiots the older I get. I appear to be married to one too!!! ;)

Jack had his pre-op yesterday afternoon. Had a mad dash picking up the Brothers Grimm then getting to the hospital for 4.30. Because I have been through all of this before with Daniel, the hour long appointment was actually only 10 minutes as I didn't need all the spiel about what grommets are etc explaining to me. I've had them myself twice so I could probably give the lecture myself! He will go under general anaesthesia. He needs to be in there for 8am on the Monday 31 July, because he is the youngest listed he will go in first at 8.30, be away for half an hour, 10 minutes op, 20 minutes recovery room. And then depending on how quickly he recovers he will be home by lunchtime. There is the slight concern over Jack's sleep apnoea. When Daniel had his operation he had an episode on the operating table and had to be brought back round, and then re anaethetised and the whole procedure took 2 hours instead of 40 minutes! If Jack has an episode on the operating table then he may get kept in overnight, but his apnoea is not too serious at the moment and he's only under for 10 minutes it's highly unlikely there will be any complications. He's to stay at home for 24 hours, and then avoid mixing with too many children for a few days just whilst the grommets are settling in and the risk of infection, but by Friday/Saturday he should be up and running as usual!! Get this out of the way and then sort out his adenoids and tonsils, he's still only 23 1/2 pounds, too light to undergo the procedure, however, I was told yesterday that if the weight is not going on it's an indicator that it's a serious tonsil problem and they get done anyway and his height is growing nicely so obviously it's both his tonsils and genetic makeup that make him so skinny. Ironic isn' t it that us women who spend 90% of our lives battling our weight, have skinny children!!

Decided to go back on WW this week, but I'm really struggling with it now, I think when you are heavier and you can eat more points it's not so bad and when it's cold too and you can live on soup, casseroles etc which are low in points, but in this weather I just seem to live on barbeques, french bread etc. I need a diet which fits into the summer months before I end up not being abl to fit into my summer clothes!! I haven't put any weight on yet, but it's only a matter of time if I stick a large galaxy bar in the fridge and polish it of in two days!!!!!!!

We've seen this house on the internet for sale in Manchester that we really really like, it doesn't appear to be shifting, probably because it's slightly overpriced, but with us having a house for sale in london suburbia it's within our price range up there (but only just - Manchester is fast becoming the new London!!). So we're tempted to go up there sooner if we can if the house is still on the market in a couple of months. Going up in August for a vist to my sister and for a lookaround at where we SHOULDN'T be looking. But I still think the best thing for us is for me to get a job in Manchester and move up there and rent, whilst my sister childminds the Bee Gees, Stephen sees to the selling up down here and then buy later in the year, much less stress and hassle.

Enough rambling, it must be the heat causing such verbal diarrhoea!!

Bye for now

We have a date!!

2006-07-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

Jack will be having his grommets in on Monday 31 July. Had I been able to book it on Monday when I tried, it would have been the 24th, no earlier because he needs his pre-op appointment no shorter than 2 weeks beforehand.

So 3 weeks Monday coming. EEEEEK!

First Day At School

2006-07-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

Today Jack started Pre School. He goes to Plumtrees which is at the catholic church in Biggin Hill. They start them at 2 and whilst they don't have to be dry you do have to be on hand to do their nappies if they have an "accident"! He will do two days a week, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Here is the big boy himself waiting outside for school to start.

He's got his little school shirt on which is age 3-4 so a tad on the big side, but it was the smallest size they did. He was very eager to go in, he kept dragging my hand not realising that it wasn't open just yet. I was chatting to another mum and all of a sudden he was gone, the door had opened and he'd been the first one in. Went inside to say goodbye but he was too busy drawing already, so just left him to it. I got home and literally as soon as I got through the door I had a phonecall to say he'd had a poo!!. I was having a candle and card party at my house so I had to leave all my guests and Jackie ran me up there and I only just got there before it ended up all over his shorts (hope no one is eating this and reading!!). Got back, and the heavens opened and Jackie had lit all the candles outside so they were quickly snuffed out and everyone complained the candles were too expensive anyway so Jackie decided not to even bother going through her spiel - which was a bit of an arse because there were a few hostess deals I was hoping to get. Still, I think those sort of parties work best at night, when everyone has had a good drink or two and don't mind handing over their flexible friend, so I'll have another one in mid August I think. So Jackie just continued with the cards and made quite a bit of money, so I'll get a 5% discount on everything I order which I'll do tomorrow because I was too busy making cups of tea and coffee and heating up mini pastries and danishes to have a proper look. Picked Jack up who was being held down in a chair as they have to learn to sit and wait for their mummies and daddies to come get them. Jack looked shattered, and I got a few funny comments about him not drinking properly from a cup, i.e. he drinks from a cup but the minute he moves with the cup it goes everywhere so he has to "revert" back to beaker. I'm sure he's not the only one there who has to have a beaker but I did get made to feel like he was in the minority. I know Jessica has a beaker there. Jack has a cup when he's sat in his chair having his tea, but I always use a beaker or a sports bottle when he's just playing about.

D&Ps sports day was cancelled because of the torrential downpours we were getting so quick trip into Bromley to get a birthday pressie for a little boy whose birthday party we are going to on Saturday (please Mr Sunshine have your hat on that day!!). The little boy is two and his name is Alfie and Jack was in Special Care with him. Little Aflie is a banker in waiting, he's obsessed with the bank and often discusses mortgages with his mum and dad. And yes you did read right - he is only 2!! I'm not surprised he's a good talker, he was always a bit of a hyper one in Special Care and had a good set of lungs, his alarms were constantly going of because he'd pulled tubes out etc, I was constantly nipping over if his mum and dad weren't there and putting them all back on. They'll be another boy there, Ross, who was also in Special Care who I have only seen once in 2 years, so it will be nice to catch up with him again. Alfie's big brother, Jake, was born at 24 weeks, and he would be 20 now, but I remember seeing him when he was 18 and you would NEVER have thought he was only a 1 1/2 pounds when he was born. Not only that he had no developments problems or anything, but you always think that it's only recently that premature babies have started to do so well, but even 20 years ago they knew their stuff, and Jake is testimony to that.

Parent and toddler group tomorrow, then childminding Jessica on Friday whilst her mum does the divorce stuff in court, party on Saturday. I just hope I 've nothing planned for sunday because I need to put my feet up!!

I leave you with a cracking picture Susannah sent me of Olivia at the birthday party in the ball pit. Susannah swears she's just having a fabulous time on the bouncy castle, personally, considering how quickly the wine disappeared, I think she's bladdered! I'll let you guys decided (P.S. That is a boy (Jensen) leaning over the ball pit, my mother made a massive faux pas and proclaimed "wonderful a little girl in a football kit!!!"

I am SUCH a chicken

2006-07-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

Took Jack for his check up at ENT this afternoon. And what a pollava that turned out to be!! On inspecting his ears the doctor immediately took us round to audiology for a pressure test on Jack's ears, came out flat lines, which basically means he not only has bad glue ear but it's affecting his hearing badly. Then back into consulting room for the conflab about what to do. The hospital policy is no tonsillectomy or adenoid removal before the age of 3 and even then the tonsils much be touching, appetite affected and therefore growth/weight, repeated waking at night, sleep apnoea and repeated infections. Jack fulfills the entire criteria, except age! So then we had another consultant in and someone from "policy" with paperwork talking about doing him in the next week or so but the risks involved are far too great because Jack falls on the 50th centile for his height, but barely the 9th for his weight, but, at the end of the day it was up to me and they were willing to do it but it was up to me and would be at "my" request. So I chickened out, I can't put Jack through that just yet, he's too little, he starts pre school this week and that would have gone out of the window as he won't be allowed to mix with other children in the run up to the op, he would then have had to have longer away from human contact after the op than usual because of his size and the impact the op will have had on his lickle body and not only that, the risk of an anaesthetic on a child so small with apnoea is riskier than if we waited til he was 3! And even more so, there are birthday parties to go to over the next month or so, and it sounds daft as an excuse but to be couped up indoors at this time of year when he should be out enjoying himself with all his friends is hardly fair on him. There is though a little ray of light, I have agreed for the grommets to be put in in the next couple of weeks, that is simple day surgery which obviously they won't do if the ears are infected but other than that it's a very easy procedure done under a local anaesthetic and he's in and out within a couple of hours. In the meantime to try and keep away infections, the doctors have put him on a long term anti biotic which he will take every night until such a time as they decide we cannot put of surgery any longer. We go back in 6 weeks time and the situation will be reviewed every 6 weeks, but they think that the op will be done in the next 3-6 months. It's also weird to think that Jack won't go on a waiting list as such, he's bad enough to side step it and will just get booked in as and when the consultants decide he can suffer no longer. I'm wondering now if I've made the right decision, maybe I should have got it over with, but I've been here before, and Daniel was so thin by the time he had the op when he was 3 1/2 that he immediately got an infection afterwards and was seriously ill so I'm not prepared to do that to Jack, need to beef him up a bit!

On another note, the ex has decided to audition for father of the year and take me to court over my taking the boys to manchester. Tosser tosser tosser tosser. Is all I've got to say at the moment

And to add, I received a dress I won on Ebay and it was appalling condition, and I mean appalling condition, two great bit huge crusty stains on the bottom and loads of snagging on the bottom, and it had been described as being in excellent condition. It came in a little ball, shoved in carrier bag and sellotaped into said ball and I paid about 400% mark up on the postage costs (paid £3.00 and it cost about 67p). So I complained, as you do, and after a week this was the response.

Firstly it Is Ok to complain about 1 thing or Part of Our Service But to basically Say that Everything is Unsatisfactory is Ridiculous!!! I took the photo for My Fiancee and know that the Dress was in Good Condition and would see NO!!! Reason to sell it as CRAP!!! so i CANNOT understand HOW! The Dress has Got Stained and Snagged in the Post!!! Not being Funny but is Sounds like you Should'nt have brought the item in the First place. If you want a Refund Please send the item back and We WILL Refund you. If however the state of the dress is nNOT the case Please Let me know!!

The message is a bit difficult to make head or tail of, and at no point did I use the word CRAP in my message. What you can make out from the message is that they are calling me a liar and the bloke likes the shift key on his keyboard. I just sent them a message back telling them not to be so damned rude, thank you very much, Alison. EBAY DOES MY BLOODY HEAD IN SOMETIMES!!

Alx

P.S. I didn't tell the seller that ebay does my bloody head in sometimes, just to clarify!!

One of them things!

2006-07-03T04:41:00.000-07:00

Nicked this of Sally's blog, who in turn got it from Ess, who in turn got it from..... and so on. Just copy and paste the questions into your comment and put your answers next to them. Simple as that. Be nice - I'm of a delicate disposition at the moment!

01. Who are you?
02. Are we friends?
03. When and how did we meet?
04. Do/Did you have a crush on me?
05. Would you kiss me?
06. Describe me in one word.
07. What was your first impression?
08. Do you still think that way about me now?
09. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When’s the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
14. Are you going to put this on your blog/journal and see what I say about you?

Happy Birthday Jack - 2 Today!!!

2006-06-30T00:11:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to my precious little miracle, Jack Lawrence Wescott, who is the grand old age of 2 today, and officially no longer a baby - boo hoo!! He was born on Wednesday 30 June 2004 at 4.55pm at 32 weeks gestation weighing a measly 2lb 15 1/2 oz (3lb for short!!) and measuring just over 39 cm. Despite having not grown for 3 weeks he was remarkably healthy and needed no CPAP (oxygen) or anything else aside from treatment for jaundice, and lipids to build up his fat supplies. This was him then

Brand new in his incubator before all the wires got attached - completely chilled out despite his early arrival.

And this is him on the morning of his 2nd birthday at 8.15 - still completely chilled out and in no rush to open his birthday presents

Just because I know people like it I'll attach the famous "dummy" picture too - taken when he was a few days old

Plans for today include visiting his pre school where he starts next week, a trip to work with Dad for an hour and then Pizza Express for his tea.

It's My Party and I'll Be Poorly if I Want To!!

2006-06-26T23:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday was the BIG day. Jack and Jessica's 2nd Birthday party (also actually Jessica's birthday). The run up had been quite stressful, I managed to squeeze in an afternoon with Sally and Oscar on Thursday but my mind was elsewhere thinking about what was needed and I even used the meet up as an excuse for another shopping trip to get more bits and pieces.

The day started early, with me getting up and doing the sausage rolls at 7am. Then it was round to Jackie's with some of the frozen food (I have the big chest freezer so I was responsible for storing it). Then back to mine to do fruit flan and other bits and pieces including about 30 jacket potatoes!

Anyway, enough of the preparation business, it's boring. The party started at 2pm and it was soooo great to see people turn up (bar the three no shows with no phonecall etc - don't you just HATE that!!). It was fancy dress and it was amazing to see the effort that mums and dads had gone to. My mum turned up with Jack in his Quinny who looked very tired and then it transpired that Jack had a temperature. I had a feeling of deja vu, after all, he had been ill at his party last year. Stephen shot home to get some calpol etc and here he is with his daddy looking a little worse for wear You will see how flushed his cheeks are. He's supposed to be a pirate (Captain Jack) but half his costume is missing as he just really wasn't in the mood and nothing would stop him wearing his favourite England trainers.

Jack fell asleep and in and around getting food ready and socialising I managed to get some photos. I was going to use photobucket to show them all but I'll just stick what I can on normally.

Adam as a Fireman

Eli as a fairy

Olivia as a Fairy with Attitude

Gypsy Jaya (I have NO idea what she is doing in this picture!!)

Jack's Birthday Buddy Elijah as a Commando

Plumber Alfie

It was so lovely to see Jemma and family turn up and especially little Jove who I had a cuddle with he's sooooo gorgeous, and obviously has typical male hollow legs because he eats loads but remains remarkably slim!! There were a few mums with new(ish) babies and they all congretated over one side of the hall. From left to right we have Karen with Alex aged 2 weeks, Robyn (whose baby Paige aged 4 1/2 months is in the 3rd car seat). Lucia, 7 weeks, who is next to Robyn (minus mum Susannah) and then Jemma and Jove, 3 1/2 months.
We had a bouncy castle set up, complete with ball pit, though within 5 minutes the balls were everywhere BUT the ball pit. As you will see in this picture, Jaya is being ultra cautious and managed to grab herself a hard hat bless her!!

Food was served at 3.30, a bit later than we had hoped but it was just a bit manic, and I was slightly put out and fuming for a while, for reasons I will go into later. Here are some pictures of them all sitting down to eat.

Here are some mums and dads

Sally and Anne (with Susannah and Louise in the background). I have no idea what Sally's plans for that sausage are but it looks ominous!!

Sally (camera shy as usual) and Jackie (who managed to find time to eat unlike myself!)

Jessica with her Nan and Auntie Sam

Anne and Susannah

Mommie Dearest who was actually saying through gritted teeth here "Take one photo and you are dis-inherited"!!!!!

It was time to cut the cake, this year a chocolate Po. Both Jackie and I thought the other had gotten the candles so it was a mad dash to waitrose to get some which were pretty naff as you can see!!

Jack managed to perk up enough to sing Happy Birthday to himself, in fact he perked up quite a bit, because it is rumoured he was later seen having a sneaky snog with Olivia!

All in all it was a great day. EXCEPT for the fact that Jackie's boys Daniel and Matthew took it upon themselves to invite all of their friends who helped themselves to drinks and also the food I had under the bar for the kiddies, including the chocolate fingers and the party rings. I was absolutely fuming and had to stop Stephen from going of on one. All of the fizzy drinks were gone within an hour of the party starting and as it transpired at the end so had the party bags!! I did more than enough, and had taken along bits with me in case I didn't have enough which should have been highly unlikely, but Jack ended up with no party bag and all the extra sweets and chocolate had gone from the box too. The culprit left a load of those red pellet ring things from a gun in the box so I know one person who was responsible. I had made up 28 party bags and had enough for 32 party bags and there were around 23 children..............!!!

It was 6pm by the time I got home, the first time I had sat down since 7am that morning. Jack was extremely ill by this point with a temperature of 39.8 which rose throughout the night causing him to be violently sick everywhere. Managed to get him to the doctors first thing the following morning and it was as I had suspected, he had an ear infection and bacterial tonsillitis which is so bad the postules are spreading to the roof of his mouth. He's on a strong dose of antibiotics and I have been told to give him a 3 year old dosage of ibuprofen to keep a hold on his temperature. He's seeing the ENT consultant next week so hopefully the ball will start rolling for him to have grommets in and his adenoids and tonsils out. No mother wants to see their child have an operation, and even though I went through all of this with big brother Daniel it still scares me the thought of Jack going under an anaesthetic, but he can't keep on like this, 3 infections since March, 9 in the last 12 months, he's gaining no weight because he can't eat because his tonsils are enlarged and permanantly sore. He's no better this morning, can't keep anything down, so it's going to be a long week.

I leave you with my favourite photo from the party. It's of the gorgeous Jove looking as if he's still not quite sure what's going on!!

Le Bon Voyage mes Garcons

2006-06-18T22:38:00.000-07:00

Just got back from taking the boys up to the school to see them of on their trip to france. Been up since 4am, thought I would need loads of coffee to keep me awake, but I felt sick after a couple of sips, so am making up for it now. Jackie picked us up at 5.20 and we were the first to arrive at the school a few minutes later. Unfortunately, there was a problem with the seat numbers on coach number 2 (the one the boys' were on) and a lot of swapping around, but eventually they got of, even if the school (we departed from the secondary school rather than the juniors) had forgotten to open the exit gate so lots of turning around and narrowly missingly parents' vehicles!! Going t0 be a bit tight for the ferry, so fingers crossed the traffic is good to them. They are going to Le_Chateau_de_Tertre and will be back on Friday evening.

Here they are just before departure this morning

From left to right we have Daniel P, Billy, Calum, Phil and my Daniel. All looking very "touristy" it has to be said!! Billy's mum Janine, will be the one ringing me to say they've arrived safely.

Here are "my boys". Phil insisting on doing his Gromit impression as usual!!

Other news, just while I'm on here. We are moving oop north! Probably Manchester, and probably Droylsden to be near my sister and her family. We are fed up with the situation between Stephen's younger brother and his dad etc here so we are going to be near mine, where we will have the support network when my health deteriorates. I need to know that if I have days when I'm so unwell I can't get out of bed that someone is going to be there for Stephen to help him with the kids, we don't want the added stress of Stephen having to take unpaid leave to look after us all. The reaction from Stephen's family when Jack was born is enough to tell us that we can't rely on them, Stephen nearly became both a dad and a widow in the same breath, but his family didn't care, they didn't ring to see if things were alright, and he coped with getting one boy of on a school trip, one to school, seeing me in hospital and Jack in SCBU all on his own until my mum got back from holiday. It's not just that, my nephew who is the same age as the boys is in Manchester, my niece who is 9 months older than Jack and theoretically they could be in the same class at school together is there and so is my lickle sister who I barely see and our other halves are getting repeatedly hacked of about the phonebills when we spend 3 hours on the phone to each other! My dad is an hour and a half to the east, and Stephen's other brother is a lot closer than he is now in Miserablebro. We're looking to put the house on the market in the new year, giving Stephen time to get a new job, probably contracting, then we will rent for 6 months in Manchester giving us time to find something we want at our pace rather than frantically trying to complete down here, complete up there etc all on the same day, so I would go up 2 weeks before completion, move in and Stephen would stay down here to finish things of. I'm not sure about what is going to happen with my job, I could transfer up there, I could ring them up today and tell them to hold of another year and get me a job in Manchester, I'm just not sure, we can't get a mortgage if I'm not working, so I'll need to have a really good think. Hopefully, this time next year I will be reporting from Manchester!

Just looked at the weather forecast and all I can say is Mr Sunshine, get your bloody hat on for sunday or there'll be hell to pay!

One Demon For Sale - VGC

2006-06-14T04:13:00.000-07:00

For sale I have a small demon, approaching two who answers to the name of Jack. He does not yet have a forked tongue or tail, nor is he sprouting horns, yet he is a bona fide demon through and through. Demonic behaviour includes (and this is just this morning!)

Stealing a box of flapjacks from the kitchen cupboard and then sneaking upstairs and sitting on his mums bed and scoffing them
throwing 4 new toilet rolls into the toilet, then fishing them out and then putting them back in the packet in the hope that no one will notice
climbing onto the top bunk in his brothers room and proceeding to take his nappy of and chuck it out of the top window
and the ultimate in demonic behaviour - getting a permanent marker and drawing all over his brothers' tv with it.

All offers considered and I'm sorry but I do not accept returns.

Two Fat Ladies!!!

2006-06-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the school fete, usually held on a saturday but because of England playing a footie game or something it was moved to the Sunday. Jackie does Mini IQ parties, books for children of all ages and she decided to run a stall at the fete and I went along to help her. Here we are just before opening, rearing to go, trembling with excitement.................NOT. Perhaps the title two fat ladies is a bit extreme, but you can almost imagine us 20 years from now sat there, 3 stone heavier holding up our heaving bosoms!!

We sold.......wait for it......................1 cockin pickin book!!!!!! Jackie made £6.99. I guess it was just the wrong forum yesterday and far too hot to be stood around ordering books. Still, at least we both got a tan from sitting in the glorious sun for 4 hours! And I stunk the field out with the crayfish salad I had lovingly prepared earlier that morning!

Had a crap weekend on Ebay, sold a lot of Jack's summer clothes from last year, actually I rephrase that, I TRIED to sell a lot of Jack's summer clothes from last year, but I'm slowly learning that they just don't do well on Ebay and I guess everyone was out in the sunshine yesterday afternoon. Made just under £100, which may sound a lot, but when you take out listing, paypal, ebay final value fees etc it's not very much and less than I usually make.

I've realised now that if you want a bargain of Ebay that you either keep or sell on for a massive profit you need to go on at the ungodly hour of about 6, and if you want to do a post without any hitches on Blogger then you need to get up at 4 am and do it, as I have this morning!! It's so hot at the moment, Jack isn't sleeping well because his ears hurt him at night that I've not slept past 5.30 at all for about a week now. I'll probably sleep even worse next week worrying about the boys on their school trip in France, a week today we'll be making our way up to the school as the coach leaves at 5.45 - god I can't believe my boys are soooooo grown up now that they go on school trips to another country!! And in less than 3 weeks Jack officially leaves babydom and becomes a proper lickle boy. Still, it means I can do more of the things I want to do now, go out and not worry about whether Jack is getting a bottle when he should be, if his nappy needs changing etc. I finally threw the bottles away last week, they had been languishing in the back of the cupboard for months and I don't know why I clung onto them, with Daniel and Phil I chucked them all in the bin at 8 months and proclaimed them permanently on trainer cups!! I guess that was down to picking them up from the childminders at the end of a long day and being given all their bottles, unwashed not even rinsed out from the day and in Daniel's case all completely full because he wouldn't drink milk, then walking home and having to wash them all, get the teats sterilised and more bottles prepared before I could even think about cooking dinner, or, taking my coat of!!

Stephen got his consultation appointment through for the snip, October 31st!!! Bloody ridiculous it takes another 6-8 weeks after that for it to be done, so we're looking at just over 6 months from now. He's enquired about doing it private but it's not cheap so we just have to pray that the classic scenario that happens so many times doesn't happen to us - we end up pregnant whilst waiting for a vasectomy!! Going to a meeting thing about adoption on 25 July which should be interesting. I've had a few predictions suggest I'll be pregnant by then, mmmmm not if I can help it, even if it means a padlock!!!

Right, it's 5.15 so I'll go and do something else, like make the packed lunches

On This Day

2006-06-10T04:26:00.000-07:00

......15 years ago, I started in the civil service!!! I reported to duty at the Crown Court at Southwark on the 10 June 1991

...... 11 years ago my beloved grandmother died on the 10 June 1995. She lived long enough to see her first two great grandchildren, another set of twins in the family, Daniel and Phil and then died peacefully in her sleep from the complications of Parkinsons.

Also congratulations to my friend Karen who gave birth to her second son Alex on Wednesday 7 June this week, 2 1/2 weeks early weighing a healthy 7lb 12 oz

Also to my brother in law and his girlfriend Caryn, who gave birth last night to a healthy baby boy Liam John. We still don't speak to them, and can't see us doing so any time soon, but I wish them well.

Good luck to England who are playing today - I've spent a fortune on footie kits for the boys so you had better do bloody well!!!!

The Bully (by Phil Smith aged 11 and 3 months).

2006-06-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

The Bully

Here comes the bully six feet tall,
He treats me like a bowling ball,
Taking all my dinner money,
He seems to think its really funny,

He looks at me face to face,
I’d run away but he’d just chase,
He laughs and gives me a hard poke,
He really thinks it’s all a joke,

I realised that I had to tell,
I waited till the last school bell,
I told the teacher I felt really sad,
She said she knows he’s really bad,

She said that she would sort it out,
I felt so great I had to shout,
It’s taken all my fears away,
Now it’s time for them to pay,

The school is running a massive anti bullying campaign, and all the children in the school were invited to enter into a poem competition and the winning poem would become part of their anti bullying statement. Phil won it. I'm so immensly proud of him. It's even more poignant as both older boys have been victims of bullying fairly recently at the school. It's a sad part of life and I personally feel that the older we get the more bullies we come across in our own lives, especially at work, but even among our group of friends, there is always someone who can make another person feel downright terrible, it just takes a simple act or comment and it can devastate a person. Fortunately the older we get the easier it is to move on and away from it, but when you are a child and it's at school it's so much more difficult and I'm just glad that both my boys have managed to handle it well.

This and That

2006-06-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

I haven't done a proper post in what seems like ages, and I like to think that quite a lot has happened but, um, it hasn't really, well a few things but, well, you know......!!

Daniel and Phil are at their dad's this week, started of as the weekend and has progressed into all of half term, and they are back tomorrow as we are of to the Biggin Hill Air Show on saturday where I am doing my bit for the school and spending five hours in what promises to be blazing heat blowing up inflatable hammers and the such like!! Still I get in for free, the rest of the family get cheap tickets being locals etc (bit of a sweetner much like they give the residents of Alton for all the upheaval the extra traffic causes).

We are now into Jack's 24th month, he will be 2 four weeks tomorrow (friday) how scary is that?!! The party is booked, for 3 weeks time, he will be having it with Jessica, the cake is almost ordered from The_Cake_Store they are the people that used to do all the baking bits etc on the Generation Game, the bakery in Beckenham is called Slatters and you go in there and they have the pictures of the bakers with Brucey on the show, I used to live just round the corner and they are one of the best I've come across, and I've been about a fair bit. Jackie and I were totting up the invite list the other day and it's quite monstrous, perhaps we should get a monstrous cake too!! We're certainly getting a chocolate one this year, I had a La La from them last year, just in the normal sponge but it was still quite a lot as it's about 16 inches long and twice the thickness of shop bought cakes. I can just imagine one or two people who are reading this salivating at the prospect of a 16 inch long chocolate cake!!

Last week I met up with Sally and Oscar for coffee and lunch. Quite funny as just after we met up both boys disappeared into different shops leaving some poor woman to look after our buggies and bags whilst we went of on a rescue mission! It amazes me I'm not a size 8 the amount of runaround Jack gives me and I'm sure Sally feels the same. Oscar is such a charmer, reminds me so much of Phil at that age, will talk to anyone who will listen and he kept pointing out that Sally was his mummy which was so sweet. Phil's trait was to tell people in supermarket queues he had 16 teeth, or that 5 and 5 were 10. Lord knows where he got it all from, he just knew that from about 18 months and that was it, by Jack's age I could hardly get a word in edgeways, thankfully Daniel was much more into meaningful looks than speaking, but that was his down to the problems with his ears and throat, Jack is the same, apart from "Oh God" "Oh Wow" "Oh No" "Oh Dear Dad" "Yesu Crust" (Jesus Christ we think!) and the word "Crash" at about 2000,000 decibels!! Anyway, had a fab day with Sally, took a few pics (of course!!) whilst we were lunching in KFC (never let it be said that the pair of us don't eat in style!).

Here is Oscar venting his anger at the whole John Prescott fiasco - Jack doesn't do politics........!

Here is Oscar demonstrating how he got bitten by friend Elijah and Jack can barely contain his shock!

And here - both all smiles!

Still nothing from work about returning, getting a bit irate now about it, Stephen is about to go permanent which means a drop in salary and with 2 boys starting secondary school in a few months I have lots of uniform to buy and at the moment I don't know how. They are of to France in two weeks for week, trying not to be worried about it, but you can't help it, they have a ferry crossing to make and some of the kids going are not that sensible and you just pray that they do as they are told and don't ruin it for the vast majority of the group who are. £600 the trip is cost - that could have sent the whole family on holiday, never mind two 11 year olds for five days!

My blood results came back ok, things are stable, in fact if you took my creatinine and my urea out of the equation (they are the toxins that build up in the blood if your kidneys don't work properly at draining them out which people like me don't) then I look like a remarkably healthy person, even my iron levels are only 0.4 below normal at 11.3 so that's good, although they were at 13 9 months ago, but they were 10.5 4 months ago. Thing that gets my goat is that I worked so hard getting my cholesterol down from 6.1 to lower than 5 and it's now 4 exactly, without the help of statins etc, just plain dieting and now the guidelines are that it should be 4 or lower, so I've got even more work to do - give me strength. AND I've got to lose another 10 kilos, about 1 1/2 stone, aiming for the anorexic chick look which apparantly equals good health yeah right. My bp was higher two weeks ago that when I was 3 stone heavier so I've no idea what's going on there.

Stephen has set the ball rolling to have a vasectomy, we aren't going to risk having any more children, it's not my health that is the main issue, it is the chance of having a successful pregnancy, which is not that high, I've given birth 5 weeks early and 8 weeks early, who knows how early another baby would be and the problems that would incur as a result. Daniel and Phil were only a bit early and haven't suffered any set backs as a result, Jack did a 4 week incarceration in Special Care, with nothing wrong with him other than low blood sugar, low birthweight and jaundice but again, hasn't suffered any setbacks as a result, another baby may be born 11 or 12 weeks early, maybe more and knowing that that is a real probability is just not fair on the baby or on the family as a whole. So we are going to try and adopt, we're not keen on adopting a baby, but then we don't want a child older than Jack either, so if it takes 2 years to go through the process then we would be looking at a 2 or 3 year old. Stephen would prefer another boy, and I hate to admit it so would I, but when push comes to shove I really don't give a monkeys. I was looking on a website today of children under our borough who are available for adoption and I quite happily could have taken them all in, no matter what their age, skin colour, background etc, many of them have developmental problems as a result of a really bad start in life but it doesn't bother me in the slightest, I have experience of being a mum of a child with specific needs and whilst it's not a walk in the park, it's the going through the diagnosis part which is the hardest rather than the dealing with the problem itself. anyway I have sent of for a pack etc and Stephen and I will look at it over the next few months before taking the next step.

I am going to sign of now because blogger is doing my head in, it's taking me ages to type all this, and about half an hour for the words to come up on the page because it's so slow, and deleting is even slower!!

Barrow Boys

2006-05-19T06:11:00.000-07:00

This is just another picture post really, but one thing I've noticed lately is how much Jack is into playing with his brothers, he goes into their room first thing he wakes up now, rather than just lounging around with us, he loves running about with them and Daniel and Phil also seem to be enjoying his company much more. Here they are in the garden the other day (before the heavens opened on what appears to be a long term basis) with the wheelbarrow. He's so fair skinned compared to his brothers, Daniel and Phil have the family Romany gene in spades, especially Daniel, people are always surprised that Daniel has blue eyes because he's so dark skinned. He has been subjected to a few questions and a few taunts at school, I don't know why, there are many children much darker skinned than him, but he's been called "half a suicide bomber" in the past because some kids assumed his dad was from the middle east, in fact their dad is from a place called Iden, near Rye in East Sussex and has skin paler than mine!! I'm so jealous of my boys with their skin, they never burn during the summer and have such good complexions (though Phil has a few cute nose freckles). I seem to have inherited the welsh/irish colouring, blond and freckly and prone to burning under a 60w bulb!!!

Jack in this picture, decided to try sitting in something, a bit more his size!!

My gorgeous gorgeous boy (and one of his girlies).

2006-05-12T10:26:00.000-07:00

I looked after Jessica this afternoon and the kids had great fun in the garden playing. Took a few snaps

Here is Jack, in his element, as he usually is and I am so glad I was taking pictures at the time (for Jack and Jessica's birthday invites).

This is Jack and Jessica together

And the gorgeous Jessica who is probably one of the most photogenic children I've ever come across.

Jack has too many gorgeous girls to choose from, Olivia and Jessica are firm favourites but unless he becomes a Mormon he's gonna have to do "eenie meenie miny moe" to chose one. There is one other, Lesley's little girl Lydia (always makes me think of the Prince song "Most Beautiful Girl in the World"). but it would seem Sally's little boy Oscar is winning on that score!

Will do a proper post later, just wanted to share the photos

Good Luck Boys

2006-05-08T06:03:00.000-07:00

Good luck to my gorgeous boys, Daniel and Phil, who are sitting their SATs this week! Starting with Science today. Good luck also to Sami, Becky's young man, who is also sitting his SATs. I'm sure they'll all do absolutely great.

Oh and I suppose good luck to moi, who has to go into the hospital today for my usual barrage of tests, I don't know which is worse, the appointment, or the long trek to the hospital in the first place. Please please please let things be the same or even better.

And finally, big huge CONGRATULATIONS, to Susannah, Andy and Olivia on the arrival of Luca Georgia on Saturday 6 May at 9am, weighing a strapping 8lb 5oz.

That's all folks!

A Really Pants Bank Holiday

2006-05-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

Well as the title suggests we didn't have a great bank holiday weekend. Started of with Jack getting poorly, I wasn't entirely sure what was wrong with him, but on Saturday he had a terrible temperature but there didn't seem to be any apparant cause until later in the day when a cough developed. I had planned on potty training him this weekend (see My_Space for more details) but it went totally up the swanney that idea because there is no point in doing it when they are poorly, I had bought him some pants as well, Thomas the Tank Engines ones which he absolutely loved and put them on wherever they would fit, over his bum, round his neck, on his head...!!

On Sunday, Jack slept until 12.45pm, with two little wake ups for a drink, that was a total sleep of around 18 hours!! When he woke up his temperature had gone down a bit, but um, his hair looked a little worse for wear

By this time the cough he has is awful, he sounds like he's being strangled and I was unsure to what to do, take him to hospital, or phone the EMDoc. In the end I rang NHS Direct who went through his symptoms and suggested he could have tonsillitis, bearing in mind his ear problems, he could also have another ear infection. The man I spoke to said that if there was a temperature present then it was bacterial tonsillitis, which would need treatment with anti biotics immediately and I was to refrain from kissing him etc, though this changed when I told him that neither I or his eldest brother were in possession of our tonsils and so were not at risk, but there is the risk of getting a throat infection of course. Because it was the bank holiday he advised me just to keep an eye on his temperature, if it rose and he became floppy, extremely lethargic etc then I was to take him to A&E. He really seemed to perk up Sunday evening and on Monday he was, whilst not his usual self, a whole heap better. Then came tuesday, and on Tuesday he woke really really ill, so I took him up to the doctors and was told he had bacterial tonsillitis and an ear infection in his right ear, and so we've been prescribed anti biotics. The doctor did consider giving him a higher dose of anti biotics as he's 2 next month and they can go up to 5ml then, but just to be sure he weighed Jack and it was a total non starter!! I won't say what he weighed, it's mortifyingly low for a child of nearly 2, compared to what his brothers weighed at this age anyway which was around 35lbs!! Jack is growing upwards now, and the doctor said if I haven't got any meat on him yet, then I won't get any on him, he's going to be a skinny one - just like his big brothers! But I do think it scary when he lies down that his belly goes concave to the point where if I poured water on it, Sindy would have a paddling pool!!

Today he's been much more lively, so much so that after putting brand new pristine white bed linen on my bed last night, Jack decided it was too good an opportunity to miss, and so this morning, pooed on it!! I was sat checking my emails, and he came in and lobbed something in my lap, can you guess what it was.......??!!! It immediately went in the washing machine on a very hot wash, but it just won't ever be the same again!. Went round to my friend Jackie's house for the afternoon, and he was a little live wire, almost to the point where I'm completely run ragged, we nipped to Waitrose and he was a complete nightmare, other customers laugh and say "bless him" or "isn't he just a little cutie" and I'm tottering along in my wedge sandals wondering if I'm going to go arse over tit and make a complete nonce of myself. Whilst I love my son to bits, don't get me wrong, I just wish he'd master the art of sitting still, even if just for 2 minutes! Got home, hoovered downstairs, put him upstairs because he was badly behaved (he got a packet of jammie dodgers for the baby and toddler group out of the cupboard and took a bite out of every single one of them!!) and when I came upstairs, I found this, on my unmade bed

I did put the trouser leg over his bits and pieces, in order to preserve some of his modesty, but I love the typical bloke sleep position, along with one shoe and sock remaining on, almost like he fell asleep before he could finish the job. He's asleep now and I don't know whether to wake him or just let him sleep on, perhaps he'll sleep til tomorrow morning now. But it's little incidences like this that make all the, dare I say "naughty" stuff he's gotten up to seem insignificant. I have quite a lot of mummy friends who think the world of him and always worry about him when he's ill, but should they actually see him in action they might change their tune! But thanks to everyone who asked after him, Ess, Sally, Becky etc, he's much better now.

On a good note I bought a new phone on Ebay YEAH! It's a Sony Ericcson Z520i complete with pink cover as well. Brand spanking new with seal still on box, I just hope to god this one survives longer than the others!

A Meme - What Does Your Birthdate Mean?

2006-04-29T05:01:00.000-07:00

Your Birthdate: April 1

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet.

You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily.

Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail.

You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details.

Your strength: Your supreme genius

Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity

Your power color: Gold

Your power symbol: Star

Your power month: January

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

A Thursday Tumble

2006-04-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

Today was the 2nd week of the new baby and toddler group, JJs, I run with Jackie. It's showing signs of being much more succesful than the last one so watch this space. I meant to take pics, but Jackie had to go to court (been thieving again tut tut - no - divorce stuff really - she's yet to be caught for the other!) and so I was on my lonesome and didn't manage to get the camera out. Will definitely take some next week, you watch, it'll be empty!!

Took Jackie's daughter Jessica home with me and she was an absolute little angel bless her, a bit miffed at me for taking the long way round to my front door (double buggy!) and tried to convince Jack I'd lost the plot in that way she has of talking that only Jack understands. Very Vera and Jack Duckworth, her going of on one and Jack just sitting there looking like he'd rather be down the pub! But it was Jack who was unusually whingey today, maybe he's "sickening for something" as my nanna used to say.

Jackie turned up at 2.15, just as I was making moves to take them up to the park for half an hour before the school run. So we went up together and Jack had a really nasty fall which grazed one side of his face and gave him a nasty bump on side of his forehead. Outside the school he took ANOTHER tumble and grazed his nose and gave himself a bruise on the other side of his forehead. Tomorrow I'm wondering if he'll do the other side of his face to match! I couldn't get any pictures until he fell asleep after we got home and you can just make out the two lumps on either side of his forehead, like little budding horns!! Amazing how quickly children's bumps and bruises heal, he doesn't take after his mum, I'm still picking at a scab about 3 months after I cut myself (like your really wanted to know that!!).

There were lots of sirens last night going on outside our house, we live on a cul-de-sac which runs parallel with the main road, and lots of flashing blue lights outside til very late. We were discussing it at JJs and I joked that perhaps someone had tried to firebomb my house and missed (and believe me there are a few who would try!) and anyway it transpires that someone set fire to the now closed down indian restaurant directly opposite my house. Had a look at it on the way home and all the windows have blown out and everything. So maybe someone did try and firebomb my house and missed..........!!

A New Beginning

2006-04-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

This is the first post in my new blog. For various reasons I am not going to be handing out the address for this one too quickly. It's a shame because I had so many nice posts on my other blog, with lots of great pics. I will try desperately to save them over the next couple of days, and store them somewhere on my computer, but won't be copying them here, this is a new blog and a new beginning.